By ERIK VERDUZCO Associated Press
CHARLOTTE, N.C. (AP) — Jillian Myers knows the devastation of losing a husband and feeling alone and empty, particularly on Valentine’s Day.
Her husband, Jason Myers, was working as a meteorologist for a North Carolina television station when he died in a helicopter crash in 2022, leaving behind his wife of 19 years and four children.
“As a widow, you often don’t feel seen,” Myers, 42, said of the holiday. “You don’t feel appreciated. You don’t feel the warmth and the love that your person would express.”
She is among a growing number of volunteers who deliver gifts to widows and widowers through the Valentine’s Day Widow Outreach Project. The movement started in 2021 in the driveway of a Charlotte flower shop owner’s home and has grown each year.
The project on Friday planned to reach 1,500 people in the Charlotte area who’ve lost a spouse, while similar efforts are underway in Houston, Nashville, Pittsburgh and other cities. Gifts range from anything from wine and candy to flowers and jewelry.
“You kind of resign yourself to this is how life is going to be — my person’s gone and it’s never going to be the same,” said Myers, who lives outside of Charlotte and previously received gifts through the project. “And it’s true, it’s never the same.”
“But when someone sees you and expresses such compassion for you and you’re the recipient of that, it’s such a heartwarming feeling,” she continued. “It’s so touching and you can’t help but want to pay it forward. Especially for women that you also know exactly how they’re feeling.”
The project was started by Ashley Manning, who owns the Charlotte flower shop Pretty Things by A.E. Manning. The basic idea emerged years ago, after her son’s preschool teacher mentioned to Manning that she had lost her husband to cancer.
“I just remembered that, and I could tell it still hurt her,” Manning said.
The following Valentine’s Day, Manning bought flowers, chocolate and a card for the woman. Months later, she told Manning, “I just want you to know how much that meant to me.”
By February 2021, Manning had opened her flower shop. She wanted to bring gifts to more widows, maybe 30 to 50, and reached out to followers on social media.
“And over a couple of weeks we had donations, volunteers and nominations for over 120,” Manning said. “So that was it. The first year it was very makeshift. It was not very organized, but we got it done. And a lot of the people that showed up that year are still here five years later volunteering.”
Several of them are widows like Myers.
“I love listening to their stories,” Myers said. “I love being able to just connect with them in that way — women that are ahead of me in the journey of being a widow, women that are coming behind me. There’s way too many widows.”
The group of volunteers includes people who didn’t lose a spouse, such as Keely Hudson, 36, who lost her father when she was 13.
“I watched my mom struggle as a single mom with young kids,” Hudson said. “I know how special it is for people to show up for you when you need somebody.”
Hudson recalled one particular experience last year when she and her two sons delivered gifts to a woman in a senior living community.
“The look on the woman’s face was incredible — she had no idea,” Hudson recalled. “And she kept asking me, ‘But who is it from? And who are you?’ She didn’t understand it. And so, after I explained it, she just cried. And we hugged and she got to hug my boys. And so that was just a really cool experience.”